The USA is better than this!
Recently, Mike Huckabee announced he is leaving his lucrative position at Fox News, essentially declaring his candidacy in the 2016 presidential elections. Rather than forcing his literally dozens of fans to sift through site after site searching for Mike’s most momentous achievements in his heralded career, I decided to go ahead and make a preemptive resume for him.
Bio: A mindless, misinformed bigot who only stays relevant by making claims so outrageous that news outlets are forced to cover them.
Abortion: I would force each rape victim to have the child, because What Would Jesus Do?
Health Care: Sure, the Affordable Care Act may have given 13 million people health insurance, but I had to change doctors. Repealed.
Gay Marriage: Marriage? Yeah right, I wouldn’t even allow civil unions. And before you call me bigoted towards gays, I also hate blacks so…
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