Manifesto Waltz

The party manifestos are out now.  Vast piles of paper that very few other than us nerds will read and to say they are dull is putting it mildly. The NHS could save a fortune in sleeping pills; just hand out these and dozing is guaranteed within a few pages.  If you are interested the BBC have provided a handy ready reckoner.

Amidst the main parties there are lots of little ones trying to be heard.  For example CISTA, Cannabis Is Safer Than Alcohol who are fielding 32 candidates throughout the country. They look a pretty happy bunch to me. However it seems like the Christians have a bit of a problem. There are two parties, there’s the Christian Party and the Christian Peoples Alliance . Both want to see an overtly Christian morality taught in schools but seem to have a difference of opinion as to how this could be achieved. One seems obsessed with sex while the other is in favour of “a wide variety of corrective measures in schools”. Perhaps they will get together and form a School for Sado-Masochism, they could call it 50 Shades of Cassock.

Other little ones include English Democrats whose objective is “to put the English first and fight for an all English Parliament to be the bedrock of England”. There is also Yorkshire First, they are demanding “more from the UK government. A governing solution that works for Yorkshire.” And of course there is the ever loveable Monster Raving Loony Party they at least have a sense of humour!

Just think by the 8th of May this will be all over bar the shouting and we can all go back to ignoring politicians and not watching the news on TV.

My work background is in operational meteorology and in my career I have been involved in forecasting for everything from bananas to jumbo jets.I joined the Met Office 1974 as an observer at Glasgow Airport. After training as a forecaster, I worked as an Operational aviation forecaster at various defence sites and airports. In 1982, I moved to Glasgow Weather Centre as a forecaster and STV broadcaster till 1988. He then took up a post as Senior Forecaster London Weather Centre, then Senior Forecaster ITV where I qualified as a trainer in presentation techniques for the ITV Association. After being diagnosed with MS, he moved into management and became Head of London Weather Centre in 1997 followed by a period of front-line management for Southern England and Europe covering London and Cardiff Weather Centres and the Met Offices on defence stations from Akrotiri in Cyprus to St Mawgan in Cornwall. He took up the post of Met Office Chief Advisor for Scotland & Northern Ireland in March 2008 and moved to Edinburgh. I retired in September 2014. My one claim to fame is once performed a comedy sketch on TV with Manuel (Andrew Sachs) from Fawlty Towers in support of Comic Relief.

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Posted in Comment, Democracy, Humour, Manifestos, News, Politics, Sharing, UK Election

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