Woody Allen on god and dying:
If god exists, I hope he has a good excuse.
I’m not afraid of death, I just don’t want to be there when it happens.
Not only is there no god, but try getting a plumber on weekends.
There are worse things in life than death. If you’ve ever spent an evening with an insurance salesman you know exactly what I mean.
If you want to make god laugh, tell him about your plans.
I didn’t know he was dead; I thought he was British.
To you I’m and atheist, but for god I’m a constructive opposition.